Specter Specter!

Hi again.
Troubled hearts are as heavy as sunken ships.
That's improper.
But anyways, it's still heavy.
Anything you do is... wrong... even though it's not!
Specter?
Ever heard of AC-130 Specter Gunship? It's the death from above.
THIS is a specter gunship:

A hit by one bullet is an ultimate OUCH!
But its not that specter that i'll be talking about tho.
In DotA, Mercurial the Specter is a force to be reckoned with.
It is a hero in which that when played excellently, would be the total nightmare of any other players.
Here is Mercurial the Specter or in DotA Spectre.

Well I am not here to write a guide on how to play specter. This is just a symbolic on what am I going to write next.


Now,
Back to the specter.
There is one skill which makes this ghost to appear anywhere on the map.
Yes, you are right. Her Ultimate. HAUNT.


Some Explanation.

Skill name: Haunt.
Duration: 4/5/6 seconds on level 6/11/16.
Description: Creates an image next to every enemy hero in the game, dealing 40% damage and receive 300% damage. No matter where you are, if this skill is activated, you are haunted. + Merc can activate another skill, following the ulti, which is the REALITY skill, where she teleports to an illusion of her liking.


This is specter in DotA. A hellish nightmare.


But again, that's not the point why am I writing this post.
It is about specters in our daily lives.
And I am not talking about ghosts here.
Everyone, yep, I said EVERYONE will have their own specters once in a while.
Your homework for instance, in case tomorrow's the due date and you haven't done a single bit of it yet.
Your teacher too for this matter.
Your heart will sink into despair, tremble into fear.
You will feel DARKNESS.


One song:
Darkness,
Imprisoning me,
All that I see,
Absolute horror,
I cannot live,
I cannot die,
Trapped in myself,
Body my holding cell.
- Metallica - One.


Although the song wasn't about spectres,
but that was the ultimate part of having one haunting you.


And believe me, my specter, I do have one, is the one person so dear to me, but yet, she haunts me day and night. Never did I like having one.
"You're crazy." - I probably am.
"You're overreacting" - It was not my wish.
"Stop thinking too much." - Not like this, dammit.

"How, how come I want you? Like the soil yearns for the rain?" Kamelot - EdenEcho.

Have you a specter I ask? Anything that haunts you? Your past? Or your present?
Or are you your own specter?


I am writing this because I need to express myself. I am partly mad of this insane ongoing ordeal.
Seriously, it is not of my wish. It was out of my control. I am sorry, kaedy.
I never thought that it would soon be like this.
At one point, I wonder if i should just have kept it in my thoughts some time ago. Let it pass.
But I guess, what's done is done. I am on my way now, I can't stop just yet.
One trait of mine I haven't mentioned.
Fatalistic.
What shall be my way, I shall go through it.
I shall let my fate be done, although I shall strongly struggle to endure the pain.
O Allah the merciful, heal my soul of impurities, may the best path be given to me.

"Shall I open my eyes, you are around. Shall I close it, you are in front of me." - Me.

And whatever happens, I shall close my eyes. And cry. 
Of joy or of sorrow.
I am pretty depressive am I?
Who's fault was that?
I don't know, but I suppose it was just who I am.
Now, back to the specter.
Some say I just need a good slap to the face.
Haven't tried it yet.
I guess, the best way to end this nightmare is still mere confrontation.
All truth and no lies. All truth and no lies.
*Taking a deep breath in.*
*Releasing a heavy breath out*.
Which is a heavy sigh.


The Fog Of War - You will never know what is behind it. 
Could be a Pudge waiting to meat hook?
Or a Mirana waiting to cast Elune's arrow?
Could be anything.
Or a Specter wandering around, waiting for a soul feast?
Again, specter. LOL.


I wish I can compress this whole feeling thing and focus on my upcoming exam.
Kill it and keep it in an urn.
Then I'll resurrect it sometime later.
Would any of you guys do that? No?
LOL what am i talking about? *facepalm and stabs himself*
This is critical. You have landed a Coup Dé Grâce on me.
And now you Wind Walked. And gone.


You have pwned Me for 300 gold.
======+Dota Chat Log+======


You [All]: LOL again.
Me [All]: Fuuuuuuuuuu~~~~


========================-

"Shall it be my greatest of fear to lose something dear, after or even before I was able to grasp it properly." - Me.

And yeah this song, love it:
I try my best to satisfy,
But all you do is waving me goodbye,
I don't know what I'm gonna do,
Cause I'm so crazy about you.
- Basshunter - Angel In The Night. EXACTLY.


You played the role as my specter perfectly that it was a total nightmare to me. Waarrghh!


Sigh, but on the other hand, there is a bunch of unsaid gratitudes. Thanks:
- For changing me - No longer 730 but 630. It feels great. I feel better as a human being. I began to take care of my hygiene, my attitude, my speech, my manners. tsk tsk.
- For bringing me absolute joy. Yeah of course.
- For inflicting me sadness. I feel like a human again.
- For hearing my woes. You are a good friend. A good listener. Open minded.
- For giving me memories. There are some things I did that I had never done before to cherish.
- For being my specter. It feels bad but at least I can see you. *stars on the head*


And some other things, should I forgot.


Yeah yeah I know, you won't probably care too much.
But so you know I do.

"I shall be bothered, But I shall not want to bother you." - posted this sometime ago. 

Words of double meaning. Sort it out.
Talked much. Told much.
I am truly sorry if this post makes any of you sick with me.
I just wanted you to know how do I exactly feel, and by doing this,
I AM TAKING A HUGE RISK.
But I guess I have to carve this somewhere, or i'll be chasing geese.


Yeah all the depression and stuff.
And hey, I'm happy to have you wandering around in my heart. Life seems to be fulfilling lately.
And I'm thinking of keeping it inside. LOL.
Never mind the pain. Some typing will heal me. =)
And sorry again for the 'whats-wrong-with-this-guy' attitude.
It was just me unable to control myself. Now sit! *sleeps*
I'm thinking too much dammit! *slaps himself*
But oh well, it's common eh? Or not. *yawn*


Fun fact: When you order Mercurial to walk around in the game, she will eventually say something that sounds like:
*Mhenaa Shi?*
"Mena x?"


Later.