Saturday, October 30, 2010

My Reflection - Semester One.

Too bad our dean haven't ask us to write THIS on the end of this semester.
Or else,
The office will be full of papers.

Und hallo everyone.
Glad it's the hols now eh?
Good to be home. *sneezes*
I left my flu here,
And it's claiming the time I took,
for leaving it behind.

Oh semester one,
Has begone thee,
Beautiful like the swan,
Memories be remembered by me.

A short rhyming one-stanza poem.
I remembered the first day I'm in Unimas.
well, I had 2 classmates going here, so I'll be fine.
And I am.
And SO I thought.
But actually I kinda started it over again.
I'm familiar with nobody,
Nobody's familiar with me.
I am lacking the social skill,
I have many disabilities.
I'm no cool person.
I can't drive, nor ride a bike.
I don't play soccer/football. (I used to till I snapped my hand)
I only know how to game.
I lived in a small world.
Just of my own.
So starting it over was...
I had friends yeah.
But not yet anyone I can trust to the fullest.
And now?
Still, tho I have good friends now. *claps*

And the most important thing,
I'm talking,
To anyone who's willing to listen,
I try to - at least - talk to girls.
Which I lacked, although i'm not from an all boys' school.

And one moment I most remembered.
My 1st PBL meeting. <3
I was charmed.
The one who made me smile without a reason,
The one who made me cry,
Who made me sleepless,
But not quite awake,
The one who brought me up,
And the one who bowed my pride.
The one who made me realize i too got flaws.

Tho things are confusing now.
It has never changed.
If 'you' are reading this,
Remember what I told you?
I still am.
"Shall there be a will strong enough, There shall be a way hard enough."
But dammit please say STOP,
If you think I should.
Thank You.
Thank You for all you've done.

And finally, friendships.
Friends are,
People who give you the strength,
The pillars of your soul,
The engineer of your sanity,
I love you guys,
Thanks for the:
Advices given,
Supports lent,
Fun we had,
DotA matches we've gone through,
Food we ate,
Merriment we experienced.

A bouquet of gratitude for everyone,
including the lecturers and students alike.
And it's raining. x)
Enjoyed em last week.

I guess there's too much crapping already,
I should back out and post another time.
And guys, any plans do inform me,
You might just saved my life.

"Mena x?"

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Hallo Everyone.

It's been raining every evening now.
And cold.
But still,
somehow I kinda see your name somewhere, but where? =P

And yes,
yes for what?
Yes for the PHYSICS exam tomorrow?

"Seriously? Seriously." - My Roommate.
Eat that you lazy slacker!
Screamed my soul.
So they say;
"Save the best for the last" - who?
Let us join hands.
And hope,
and really hope,
The formula list will be given tomorrow.
Or I'll be cursing the paper tomorrow.
Tomorrow's gonna be one helluva struggle.
And after that,
What what?
Dota-Sampai-Pengsan. (Dota-till-you-pass-out)
Not really.
At least till I felt nauseous.

And the holiday becoming.
I really effing hope i can see my bestfriends again.
Feroza™, Wakil Sekolah™, or the MoTW (Members Of The Windows) admins.
I really miss them.
It's really embarrassing to admit.
But I'm telling the truth here.
It's not that I had forgotten about you guys.

Yeah yeah I know i should go study now, or sleep.
To all reader(s)
Good Luck.

And remember.
"(Correct Answers + Lecturers Mood) X (Confidence) = Total Mark." - Me.

"Mena x?"

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Our Fears Below - Higher High.

Epica - Higher High.
Fireflies are flying higher
They draw their wings up in the sky
Something I cannot read now
For my vision is blurred

We are all ruled by our fears below
Higher high
We are stuck and can't get out again
There's more than we deny
And there's more than meets the eye

Fortune, fairytales; we've all been told
Our pattern, never built, never begins
I can tell you there can't always be
A happy end to every tale

We are all ruled by our fears below
Higher high
We are stuck and can't get out again
There's more than we deny
And there's more than meets the eye

We are all breathing the same air
That we share
We all just have to live
We are all equal
No matter black or white

We are all ruled by our fears below
Higher high
We are stuck and can't get out again
There's more than we deny
And there's more than meets the eye.

Und Hallo everyone.
Nice voice eh?
Believe me,
I wish the voice was mine. LOL.

So what's the point of this song.?
This song is about FEAR, UNCERTAINTY and EQUALITY.
Yes, the major and basic elements in life where we humans often do not realize their existence.
Oh you do realize?
What is fear then?
How do you describe fear?
Is fear the same as phobic?
I won't answer that.
I have touched about it in my first blog.

And you may have noticed the lines that I bold-ed and italic-ed.
Emphasizing. *Ehem*
We all breathe the same air.
Oxygen gas.
Was there a difference between you and me?
Was there any difference between who you are and who I am?
THIS my dear reader(s), is the commonly misunderstood terminologies of between WHAT and WHO we are.
Humans. (Homo sapiens)
We have the same name. Yay!
I am not holier-than-thou and thou are not holier-than-me.
Begone who thinks of being a supreme being than others.
That is why we humans must treat each others well.
Don't you ever dream living in harmony?
Where racial difference is negligible?
Trust me if that happens.
This world is a better place.

And yes there is some part of the song which tells you that not every story has a happy ending.
Sad, isn't it?
What we always wish for is happiness.
But to seek happiness we must bring happiness to others.
Let our sorrow be a lesson to us.
For shall sorrow be the best teacher.

Our fears below, higher high.
This song pierces through my very soul.
Tsk tsk.
We cannot deny our fears,
It is real,
It is growing,
It is more than meets the eye.
We must isolate the source of our fear.
Confront your fear.
"Fear is not a factor for you" - Fear Factor.
Yeah i always watched the Fear Factor tv programme.
Walking down steep roads.
Eating crunchy worms.
Handling snakes and scorpions.
But I know sometimes what we fear is hell-of-a-lot hard to confront.
And as I mentioned in my first post.
There is no other way.

And now I shall take a step back and end my post here.
I'd love to sing this song again and again.
Be wary though, this band is a symphonic metal band.
Listen at your own risk.
But well this song is perfectly clean.
Good luck with the examinations, guy(s).

"Mena X?"

Sunday, October 17, 2010

A little this and that.

Und hallo again, lads.
Semester 1 has nearly come to an end eh?
Oh wait, the exams.
With my MUET speaking test around the corner.
Time for the final rush?
Or maybe.
I don't know.

And after that,
Seriously should you ask,
I don't know whether I am going to like it or not.
Yeah cool no classes.
Thumbs up.
But then again,
I won't be able to talk much as I like,
Nor I can meet my friends,
Where friendship is,
An important surviving element in life.
Will I be living in virtual worlds again?
And become my alter ego EvolutionX?

Call me weird,
I don't care.
Because somehow,
I felt that my life here is...
I feel more like Kaedy@Qaedi instead of Evo.
And again,
Credits and thanks to ALL and I mean ALL my FRIENDS.
The degree of my gratefulness is beyond of which I might cry for it.
And to some-other-one.
Thanks for the rains and sunshines.
You gave me a wonderful rainbow,
I won't care if I am just being hallucinative. (Syok Sendiri) LOL.

And guys,
read your books.

"Mena x?"

Friday, October 15, 2010

Cause All You Do In Life Comes Back To You.

Please buffer this song n listen to it. =)

 Kamelot - Karma .mp3
Found at bee mp3 search engine

I am a king of honor

gold and glory
but every king must also die
have I been just and righteous
what is glory
I know I've torn and taken life
and here I stand
a small and simple man

who will trade his karma for my kingdom?
a sacrificial rite to render truth
the fire in my soul rejects my wisdom
cause all you do in life comes back to you
I am a king in crisis
counting minutes
there is an ending to my reign
my sins have come to face me
I can feel it
that I have lived my life in vain
and now I know I'll reap
the seeds I've sown
who will trade his karma for my kingdom?
a sacrificial rite to render truth
the fire in my soul rejects my wisdom
cause all you do in life comes back to you
am I mad
I feel so void and cold
who can tell
who holds the stories untold
tired and trembling
I am descending
will I have to stay here
and live this life again

who will trade his karma for my kingdom
a sacrificial rite to render truth
the fire in my soul rejects my wisdom
cause all you do in life comes back to you

Und hallo guys,
"What goes around comes around."
Please don't stop the song.
Let it play over and over again.
I love this song.
Yet meaningful.

Lemme explain a little bit about this song:
It's about a person in possession of something great (in this song, a throne)
Who realized of the sins he made,
and desperately trying to find someone who would trade his karma,
for the person's kingdom.

But in truth,
It is not as simple as that.
Your fate is yours alone.
What you DO is what you shall GET.
I had a hard life emotionally,
and I'm wondering if sometime ago i gave a hard life.
Probably not,
but MAYBE, just MAYBE it's true.

The same goes to you.
Think before you act.
I may not fully believe in Karma,
but I do believe that all you do in life comes back to you.
"Nobody might notice what you did wrong, but GOD do" - Kaedy
And I apologize for disappointing you guys in any aspect.
I am not perfect,
But I will try to be the best I can.

I shall control my anger,
And I bet you might want to do the same.
I've highlighted some of the lyrics.
'The fire in my soul' refers to anger and hatred.

So guys,
Be nice eh?
It's not hard actually,
I've tried it,
And hoping that somehow it shall make me a better person.
And getting a better life afterwards. Wee~

By the way, DO comment for protests.

And don't forget,
Exam week is just and really just around the corner.
I wish you guys the best of luck.
And knowledge,
And Karma.

"Mena x?"
Roger and Out.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Cold War.

Hallo guy(s) and gal(s).

A loud shot makes everyone panic.
A silenced shot makes everyone fearful of being the next target.
There is not much difference between World War and Cold War.
Cause both hurts.
I hate to say "I'm neutral"
When two attachments of mine is in a crisis.
Or probably three.

You might say,
"Don't bother, it's not your problem."
Go with A, B gets skeptical or jealous.
And the other way around.
It is hard to live in guilt, BELIEVE ME.
And right now,
Right now,

"Tutup TELINGA" Peruzz.
"Nang kekup." Azman.
"Benciknya ku nengar lagu tok." Abid.
"OUT" Kaedy.

Thats all.
How to be happy when all my friends give me the EFFing face.
Silence kills me,
Yet noise gave me the awkwardness.

So long.
"Mena x?"


Saturday, October 9, 2010

Hello guys, again.
It has been awhile.
Ten Ten Ten.
It's not that I am making a suspense noise.
And it is jeng jeng jeng actually. LOL.

Ten Ten Ten.
10 10 10.
Look at the calendar.
You are right.

But anyways that was just the commercial.
Now to business,
I have been doing so well so far,
I can't expect my old habit to disappear in a blink.
Or in a poof.
But I guess I occupy my time every now and then,
avoiding BOREDOM.
I hate to say it,
Avoiding from thinking about my issues,
Where the word Wai-Ou-You (Y-O-U) plays the major part.
But hell, I really can't stop it sometimes.
Well I guess thats the side effect of being affected to so and so. LOL.
My chances?
I'll leave it to the hands of fate.
Yeah yeah it IS tough.
Trust me, I have been scratching the air ever since.
I can say that my depression and distress has decreased,
and I prefer it that way.
There is no harm in being a little bit heartless sometimes,
Or was I wrong?
Go figures.

And somehow along the way,
I feel like being independent.
Managing my own self and stuff.
I hesitated to go home.
It's not that I hate my home.
But I feel so lonely and empty being at home,
until I started seeing things.

And hey,
What happened?

Okay now,
Some message,
Give me some truth please.
Thank you.

Truth about what?
Anything that I SHOULD know.
To whom I ask this question?
YOU. Yes you.
I am hungry.

But shall you don't have anything to tell me,
Don't be bothered about it.
General general, no offence, because i see no names.
Unless your name is You or Yes or Hungry.
Or The Truth (In GTA San Andreas The Truth is a person's name)
Then I am sorry.

And yeah,
I am still myself,
Hurt me and I will forgive you.
I talked much about toleration,
So what the crap am I talking if I myself did not apply it?

Exam is near.. Weehee..
Cannot wait to end this..
Umm well..
I'll do my usual study routine..
So long as I don't *snap!*.
Or cry while studying.
Or start talking different language. LOL
Never happens before.
That was just metaphors.
But who knows?
We can never push ourselves too hard.
Then later on realize that we are on the verge of death.

Then after that,
I am going to say it out aloud again,
With no fear.
With no doubt.
But only being fatalistic.

Say what aloud?
Not telling ya =P

And oh well, today seems to be a nice day.
SEEMS that is.

And oh rain how much i adore thee.
Fall so that i shall sleep peacefully.

And have a nice day.
So they said:
"Mena x?"